Feb 13

Feb 13 Love-Themed horror for Valentine’s Day

Cover Image: 1981 Harry Warden’s Bloody Valentine | Photo: Paramount

Happy Valentine’s Day! Here are a few love-themed horror movies, from slashers to ghost stories to government conspiracies. Things don’t always work out for the characters in these films (we are dealing with horror, after all), and in this genre, love does not, in fact, conquer all. The movies on this list are about falling in and out of love, about spurned and unrequited lovers, and about “a legend they say, who hates Valentine’s Day”—one of them in 3D!!!

These aren’t ranked or rated. They’re all just movies we think are worth a couple hours of your time. Also, no early access on this one for our loyal Patreon supporters. Mainly because life got in the way of getting this listicle done with a decent lead-time before V-Day.

My Bloody Valentine (1981) & My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009)

My Bloody Valentine (1981) is streaming on Starz as of 2/13/2022
My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009) is streaming on HBO Max as of 2/13/2022

*2009 Harry Warden’s 3D pick in your face | Photo: Lion’s Gate*

No love-themed horror list is complete without this Canadian slashfest and its generally better received remake. Squeamish be warned, when the original My Bloody Valentine was released, the MPAA demanded significant cuts before it finally earned an R rating, and the remake is much bloodier. The original film follows the young residents of a mining town, three of them involved in a heated love triangle, planning a Valentine’s Day dance that they’re way more obsessed with than any grown-ass person should be. Trouble is, twenty years ago, a horrific mining accident occurred when two supervisors who were too focused on getting to the dance failed to catch a gas leak. The resulting explosion trapped several miners and drove Harry Warden (Pete Cowper), the sole survivor, to murder and cannibalism. After slaughtering the negligent supervisors responsible for his trauma, Warden vows further vengeance if the dance ever happens again. The town’s putting the dance on for the first time in twenty years, and guess what else is happening for the first time in twenty years…

My Bloody Valentine 3D tweaks this basic premise, offering viewers a cleaner set-up, keeping the love triangle intact but simplifying the details. This time around, protagonist Tom (Jensen Ackles), whose dad owns the mine, causes the accident due to inexperience. Early in the film, sole survivor Harry Warden (Richard John Walters) wakes from his coma and goes out to the mine, seeking revenge by killing everyone he sees on his way to the mine, where he murders some more people who happen to be partying there. A few of them, however, manage to escape, shooting Warden just as he’s about to kill Tom. Ten years later, Tom, having left town shortly after the murders, has come back to sell the mine. When a killer rampages through the motel he’s staying at, Tom begins to suspect that Warden might be back.

Both movies are hokey, fun slashers. The remake is probably more palatable for modern audiences, but the original is a campy blast. The notes the killer leaves behind and the ridiculous, but also awesome theme song during the end credits are well worth your time. The remake boasts splashier effects, steadier pacing, and characters with a bit more depth, but that higher production value comes at the cost of the original’s sheer silliness.

The One I Love (2014)

Streaming on Tubi as of 2/13/2022

*Elizabeth Moss & her doppelganger | Photo: Duplass Brothers Productions*

Feeling like you don’t know your partner anymore? Want to strike up a conversation and psychologically ninja them into confirming what you already know to be true—that they really are a different person? Need a movie to help grease the wheels of that conversation? Search no more!

The One I Love dresses itself up as a romantic dramedy, but at its core, it’s a domestic social thriller centered on a deteriorating marriage as Sophie (Elisabeth Moss) and Ethan (Mark Duplass) fall out of love. They’re both great actors to begin with, but the chemistry between Moss and Duplass is something to behold in this somewhat underappreciated gem of an indie flick. We promise it’s not spoiling the film to say that they encounter each other’s doppelgangers—it happens, like, ten or fifteen minutes in. The film goes on to use that trope to explore what it feels like to fall out of love with someone who’s no longer the person you fell in love with, and what it feels like to be the person who’s changed.

A Ghost Story (2017)

Streaming on Showtime as of 2/13/2022

*A ghost waves to his neighbor | Photo: A24*

Casey Affleck stars as a young man who can’t move on after his sudden death in this minimalist A24 production. Instead, he condemns himself to haunting the house he once shared with his wife (Sonia Acevedo) and watching her grieve. A somber, supernatural drama laced with a more existential, philosophical breed of horror that’s mostly void of special effects, A Ghost Story asks its viewers for quiet introspection.

The simple costuming (our ghost protagonist awakens, after his death, wearing a white bedsheet with holes cut out for eyes) and the naturalistic dialogue and performances put the film’s focus on themes of love and loss. As time passes, the ghost contends first with his widow’s changing life and then with the ever-transforming place he calls home. The horror of this film has nothing to do with jump scares or gore or impending doom; instead, it’s all about loss, grief, and depression, their intractability and their inescapability. While very much confronting the reality of grief and the struggle to let go of lost love, A Ghost Story also offers a careful look at how enduring and death-defying that love is.

The Shape of Water (2017)

Streaming on ABC as of 2/13/2022.

*Making out underwater with the Amphibian Man | Photo: Fox Searchlight Pictures*

Remember when the Oscars gave “Best Picture” to a horror movie about a lady who falls in love with a fish dude? That was weird. Especially since the Oscars don’t even have a horror category. Consider it a testament to the writing and direction of Guillermo del Toro, not to mention the master of monster performances Doug Jones, who plays said fish dude.

A carefully crafted blend of whimsy and grit, The Shape of Water is a dark fairytale romance between mute Elisa Esposito (Sally Hawkins) and a captive “Amphibian Man” (Doug Jones). In this grisly take on forbidden love, Elisa also finds herself seeking aid from her friends to help plan the fish dude’s escape from a secret government lab. Set in the early ‘60s to the backdrop of the Cold War, The Shape of Water is full of cockeyed camerawork and grotesque body horror, reflecting the mounting madness of big bad US Colonel Richard Strickland (Michael Shannon, who is utterly sinister, drawing up energy comparable to his Boardwalk Empire days). This fantastical tale of love that may have been found too late and might be lost too soon might have a strange, seemingly non-mainstream premise, but it’s straightforward storytelling, well-wrought characters, excellent performances, and gorgeous production make it appealing even to non-horror fans.

Corpse Bride (2005)

Streaming on HBO Max as of 2/13/2022

*Undead love triangle | Photo: Warner Bros. Pictures*

Need something kid-friendly? Tim Burton’s claymation Corpse Bride is a solid choice. It’s got that delightfully macabre but quirky and fun quality that Burton’s known for, making it a great softcore horror musical for the kiddos. Plus, it’s inspired by a deeply upsetting Russian folktale that you can read here after you put them to bed. Or you can read it to them if you want. Just be ready, in case they ask why the lady was buried in her wedding gown, to go down a horrific rabbit hole of research about Russian anti-semitism in the late 1800s.

Anyway, this version of the story follows Victor (voiced by Johnny Depp), who’s arranged to be married to Victoria (voiced by Emily Watson), which will elevate the wealth and status of both families. Fortunately for them, it’s love at first sight. Unfortunately, while practicing his vows in the woods after being nightmarishly clumsy at the rehearsal, Victor mistakes the protruding finger of a buried corpse for a tree branch and accidentally pledges his love and commitment to the soon-to-be-undead Emily (voiced by Helena Bonham Carter). What follows is a love triangle with a morbid twist.